ghost in the machine 

sometimes i dont know myself. I know they say, who really does but sometimes I really do not know myself. I dont know how to be a better person, how to be the man that people should have in their lives. I feel like a zombie of a person who happens to have the same name. I am trying to be better and im slowly winning but those whispers keep lingering there…they keep calling me…they say to me that its only a matter of time. My heart hurts, it hurts because i am trying to be a better person for those around me and yet I feel like im falling deeper and deeper into a hell of my own. I know im letting people down because i get myself together. I want to kick and scream tell my lungs hurt that I can do this… i can over come this…thing that is sitting on my shoulder. I want to just cry that this is not me but just when i am at that point…nothing. It’s gone…in a moment it goes away…all of it and I am back to just being me…as the song says..if you could read my mind what a world my thoughts could say…what a world..

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