No one is to blame

I dream of a faraway island. I still on a chair on the sand with the water going thru my feet. It’s peaceful and quiet. All those problems I have carried with me all my life have just melted away. A warm wind blows in my face and all I can see if the quietness of the water. It’s paradise. No worry.

I feel like I have been carrying this load all my life. If sits on me and it won’t jump off, just a load of trouble. I want to be free of this load but I’ve carried it for so long now that I would not know how to live without it. 

It’s a clear day in my mind. I am damaged goods and she is right. I should have walked away. Now we are in a place where tough choices will have to be made. I say a prayer for myself to do what is right. I pray that out there someone can hear me and show me the light. I am lost but I want to have the faith to find the road home. 

I sit in my chair and I close my eyes and for once my mind has stopped. It’s silent. Paradise is where I am because finally I am at ease, no more worry, no more pain..paradise. 

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