Forever blue

Get up

Stand up. I tell myself many things and most of them are in my mind. I can see the trees outside move to the wind, back and forth they go. I feel down and somehow I have no idea where this feeling is coming from. I want to go outside and just go for a drive but I’m not sure where I would go. 

I remember being a kid and having this feeling, deep in me that something was not right. I could not relate to other kids nor did I even want to. My safe zone was my bedroom and nowhere else did i want to hide away in. That boy who was afraid of the world is still there, locked away deep in me. I worry about what he is looking at these days, how he feels about where my life is at this moment. 

I’m not sure if I can go back and fix that boy, I’m not sure if I’m happy. 

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