My left hand is shaking, I am sitting at my desk at work and my hand can not sit still. This morning I woke up and I felt like so many things are real, not just thoughts in my head or things that fill my dreams but they are real. It’s over. the relationship is over. I feel sad over what that really means. No one wants to feel like they are a failure at anything let alone relationships, but once again I am at that crossroads. However this time I walk away with more hope for the future then ever before. I have a better understanding of who I am and who I am not. I see all the issues that were problems before more clearly and I take that and hope that I can shape a future that works for me. I also know now how important that bonds that I make in friendships are and how much I have to guard them. I hope that I have not lost my friend, I hope that she stays in my life but I hope that she finds happiness.
But here I go again. I say a prayer that the next time I can bring it all back home inside myself. Yes the next time I will get it right. It is a brave scary world out there but one that I know I need to be honest with. I am me and the me that I am can be a good person but only If I am honest with what I have to offer it.