A hazy shade of winter

It’s a strange feeling to sleep to someone new, you never know what it will be like, if your even able to do it. It was a strange thing but also different. There was no cuddle time, no holding hands, no romantic time, I slept one side and she on the other, I might have thrown one leg over hers. and yet I slept good and I slept for a long time. My mind just shut off and for the first time in a while, it was not worried about whatever was going on in the world. I have the feeling that it was not the person as much as how it was done that made the difference. Many times you just want the world to be quiet for a little while.

And I know she was happy to have someone around who wanted more than just sex, which in this date and age of dating, is high on the list of many people. Relationships are many times judged on how fast you jump into bed or how good it is or sometimes is not. When people judge you based on how you look, it is nice when someone does not bother you about bra size or trying to get into your pants. You can root for your sports team or watch a movie and guess what watch it. I have no idea where this is going but I’m ok for now. For now this will do. I don’t have to take care of anyone else and they aren’t looking to try to take care of me. no none stop text messages or an endless question about how are you, what are you doing or when will I see you again. I loved the relationship I was in but I learned a lot about who I am and what I am not, I am not that hero to save your day, I am the hero to step in when the peace has been long won and just wants to live out his last days quietly.

I’m not sure if this is gonna lead anywhere I know I said that already but as I close my eyes I wont dream of her nor will I miss her, But I will look forward to seeing her again and just making the world stop again. and no more hallmark movies, how I hate those things, even if it put me to sleep.




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